03 Feb A Framework to Motivate Ourselves
There’s something undeniably inspiring about the start of a new year. Maybe it’s the crisp January air or the fresh energy of the newness of the year. Whatever it is, it pushes many of us to set resolutions, draft to-do lists, and chase new goals. Sure, past experiences might whisper that these convictions could fizzle out, but many still march forward with unwavering hope that this year will be surely different. Sound familiar?
At a recent book-reading club event (yes, I’m a proud member of one in my neighbourhood), a speaker shared her micro-habits for fitness, inspired by the book of the month – James Clear’s ‘Atomic Habits’. She encouraged everyone to find motivation within to transform their habits and achieve more. Then, someone piped up with a simple yet profound question: “Where do I find motivation because I can’t find it within?”
Cue the laughter. The speaker, momentarily thrown off, explained how her motivation always comes from within, perhaps from a deep desire to be fitter, healthier, and better. She ruminated that perhaps she also liked setting an example for herself and others. But the questioner persisted: “What if I don’t feel inspired or motivated, even when I can know the benefits?”
More laughter followed, but I felt a pang of bonding with the questioner. I’ve been in that boat too – searching for motivation within, only to lose steam before it formed into a habit. Until one day, I stumbled upon a framework that works for me every time. Well, I’m no guiding beacon of motivation gyan, but I do have a system that might help. Let me break it down.
The Motivation Framework: Me, We, They
Mode ‘Me’: Start Within
Every great journey begins with introspection. It might spark from a dream, a desire, or even a painful experience – like a scar, from an insult, or bitter experience, or a scare, that festers until we address it. But here’s the catch: motivation from within often fizzles out before it becomes a habit. Why?
It’s easy to blame a lack of drive, but the truth is harsher. Sometimes, external factors – like a tough environment, financial struggles, strained relationships, or a series of failures – dampen the spark. When this happens, it’s time to shift to Mode ‘We’.
Mode ‘We’: Strength in Numbers
What we can’t do alone, we can achieve with others. We need to surround ourself with like-minded individuals or those in similar circumstances. Together, we learn to harness collective energy to stay motivated. Sometimes, it’s peer pressure that gets the ball rolling. Other times, it’s shared inspiration. Either way, the group’s common purpose becomes the vehicle for our personal goals. Mode ‘We’ works when Mode ‘Me’ falls short. But what if we can’t find or sustain a group? That’s where Mode ‘They’ comes in.
Mode ‘They’: Learn from the Legends
Throughout history, ordinary people have achieved extraordinary things. These are the superheroes, the gurus, the high achievers – the ‘They’ who’ve transcended mortal limits that define humans. Their stories are everywhere, their energies pervade long after they are gone, waiting to inspire us. Whether it’s a mythological figure, a real-life hero, or a top athlete, ‘They’ can motivate us through their stories, deeds and legacies. We can tap into their energy when ‘Me’ and ‘We’ aren’t enough.
Conclusion: Motivation is Everywhere
What we can’t find in ‘Me’, we can discover in ‘We’. And what ‘We’ can’t provide, ‘They’ can offer. Over time, we might learn to draw motivation from all three sources – or perhaps we’ll become so deeply rooted in our habits that we would no longer need to search for motivation. We ‘become’ the motivation.
So, where’s your motivation mojo hiding? Start looking – it’s may be closer than you think.
Examples of Mode ‘Me’
Sharad, a young professional always wanted to publish his writings. He had an idea for years but never found the motivation to publish his book. One day, he decided to scribble a short story and submit it for publication in an anthology. Lo and behold, his story did get published! Feeling a surge of inspiration, he decided to complete his cherished storybook in a month. Over the next thirty days, his small, consistent effort turned into a completed manuscript, which was published and is now available worldwide. Sharad’s motivation came from within – a rediscovered passion and a desire to fulfil a long-held dream.
In another instance, Nidhi decided to prioritise her fitness after a health scare. She started with some basic training at home and, in a few months, joined a gym. She has been continuing her workouts for years now. The motivation came from within – a deep desire to live a healthier, longer life for herself and her family. Her motivation became a habit that grew into a full-fledged fitness routine.
Examples of Mode ‘We’
Some years back, my college mates – all of us then around forty five years of age – decided to run a marathon together. While some were seasoned runners, others had never jogged more than a kilometre. We created a WhatsApp group to share progress, cheer each other on, and hold one another accountable. The camaraderie and peer pressure kept us going, even on days when motivation was low. By race day, we all crossed the finish line together.
In another instance, I had been struggling to keep up with my reading habit when I decided to join a book club. The book club assigns a reading list every month, and the books therein are discussed with passion. By reading and discussing, we keep each other motivated. The shared goal and collective energy turned what seemed like an insurmountable task into an enjoyable journey.
Examples of Mode ‘They’
Here’s an example of my friend Priya. Priya was struggling to get her career back on track after taking a three-year break when she was pregnant. She turned to biographies of successful women like Indra Nooyi and Oprah Winfrey. Their stories of resilience and determination inspired her to take risks and pursue her ambitions in another career. She even started a vision board with quotes and images of her role models to keep her motivated. As of today, she manages a team of over twenty employees who work for her business.
Another friend, a supremely talented filmmaker, found inspiration in art cinema and directors who made good films but with little box office success. Despite countless struggles to make ends meet and complete his type of films, he is driven by the vision of the stalwarts before him who created their unique style of filmmaking through sheer perseverance until they achieved success both critically and at the box office. The similar mindset of the masters motivates my friend, paving his path to success.
If you liked this post, then you may consider reading The Role of ‘Maya’ in Negotiation and Elements of a fulfilling life also.
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